you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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