She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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