my sisters under your porch take her home
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The adults are the big ones right?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
