Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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