He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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