it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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