I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
