he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The beer is more important than you right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
