I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
