Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
