how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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