well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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