I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
