I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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