you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
