Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
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