he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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