i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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