I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize