if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can't put those talents on a resume
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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