Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
