I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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