your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
