he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
