New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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