i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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