Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
