Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize