I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
