She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
