its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
