I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
