Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You pole danced in your parka.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
