Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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