Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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