I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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