dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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