yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
