Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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