What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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