i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize