whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
