There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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