he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize