I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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