I'm really into asian looking animals
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
