Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
