Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
