True but thats because hes a fetus.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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