if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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