the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
