i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
