I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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