Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
