Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
