Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
