the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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