If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
