My Higher Power is John Stamos
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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