Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
