Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Less talking, more tequila
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
