is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
