JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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