So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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