He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
