butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
