nut hugger
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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