Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
