Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
