saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
