Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
